Friday 10 January 2014

Imagine this... Re-imagine this

Imagine this scenario…

A young man from migrates to the UK, he doesn’t have anywhere in particular to live when he arrives, so stays in different places and uses his network of friends to find work (cash in hand). He drinks and is physically violent towards his partner when he does. He has several romantic relationships with different British women, these result in an array of children to different mothers up and down the country, he never pays any maintenance for these children. He eventually he settles down in one place long enough to meet a young woman, a migrant from his home country, she doesn’t speak any English. She came here speculatively with nowhere to live either or any contacts she was just looking for a better life. They take jobs in the UK, they rely on the NHS but they don’t claim any additional welfare. They have a son and eventually get married. They only speak their native language at home and spend most of their time with others from their religious and cultural background at the large religious centre their community set up in their city they don’t integrate into the British way of life. As he grows up their son doesn’t speak English either, so when he gets to school he needs help learn the language as well. As their son grows up his mother can’t read is school books with him or help him with homework, his father doesn't really care. Later in her life despite living in the UK for many years the woman still doesn’t know more than a few words of broken English and relies on her husband has his own small business for work. When when she is widowed she relies on her teenage son to communicate with important stuff like taxes and bills…. You get the picture need I go on?

Are you niggled by this story? 

What is it that bothers you?

The people who arrive in the UK with no plan?
Their use of an NHS, which they haven’t paid taxes into?
The fact that they cannot properly support their child’s education?
Do you worry that this is going on now all the time?
That this is an increasing problem which we can't stop?
That our boarders are going to be flooded by people who have no intention of integrating into British life?




Then Re-imagine...




How do you feel if I reveal that the year that these migrants came to the UK was 1945/6? And although I took some small liberties with the facts that essentially this story describes my grandparents?
My grandfather was stationed in Perth, Scotland during WWII and never went home to Poland. My grandmother was brought to the UK by the British army when she was released from forced labour when Germany was liberated. She too was Polish.

When I read this editorial via my friend +Andy Pakula on Thursday of this week. I was not surprised. I was pretty used to racism by the time I was at school. When you’re white the prejudice is pretty insidious anyway and a great number of people convince themselves that it isn’t that bad, because it’s not like you look that different so they can say what they like.  Since “They’re not racist but…” you have a weird name… where were you born… when did you come to Britain… will you ever go home…. why do you celebrate those odd festivals… what is that strange food in your lunch box?

No child deserves to be bullied. Full stop.But the constant stream of bigoted and racist rhetoric in the media and by certain sections of society is affecting the lives of vulnerable children today.

Children repeat what they hear at home. When was I trainee teacher in 2008 my classes generally struggled with my foreign name, but I would tell them about my cultural background and some of the history of my family knowing that there were now again first generation British Poles like my father in classrooms in our school and it was important that these children were welcomed. One day I had a really memorable conversation with a child I will call Ryan. Ryan was 10 and White English/British, his family had emigrated to Australia and then subsequently returned to the UK. He was “local” he was a nice kid, but what came out of his mouth still haunts me. It went something like this:
How is it being back in Hometown Ryan? My dad’s still not got work Miss, he dad says it’s all people who come over here Miss, like the Polish, Miss… coming over here taking the jobs, not paying their taxes.
I was dumbstruck. This child was barely 10 years old. And here I was listening to the insidious racist line that has been repeated in this country generation after generation. Replace the nationality or race of the “incomer” but the message is always the same. I remember my response was something like, “Excuse me Ryan but I pay my taxes” To be honest having attempted to teach Ryan percentages the week before I’m not even sure he knew what taxes were. But most importantly despite, all my training and experience, I had no idea how to challenge him.  If he’d said something about another students skin colour, or used some identifiably racist slang to describe a particular person or group … I had a protocol for that! My brain would have kicked into action and something would have been done. But in between my ears was a small voice that told me I had no right to question the “God given right of the English” to be masters of their own land.


You see it’s not just about what we say to our children. It’s the way we pass on our insecurities, here was a child whose whole identity was wrapped up with defending the home of his ancestry and that message is getting stronger. It’s in the media, the government use it to spread fear and hatred. And I occasionally pause as I write my name and nationality on a job application form. I’m British, I was born here, but what if they don’t believe me, maybe they’ll assume I don’t speak very good English, maybe I made up the qualifications, my grandparents were aliens after all.

Wednesday 1 January 2014

Welcome to 2014- An Individualist Like Me

I have been racking my brain lately... or rather it's been racking itself. Recent events in my life have kind of picked my head up and given it a shake. Therefore I have found the contents rattled and spilling out at various points into conversations and meetings with others. Many of my friends are great listeners, many of them understand. But sometimes something just needs to be written as concisely and eloquently as possible and sent out into the world where it can live on it's own.

I have a serious problem with a word...

Freak- as defined in a Google search in these terms-

a person, animal, or plant with an unusual physical abnormality.
"a few freaks have been discovered, one amazing cat tipping the scales at no less than 43 lbs"

synonyms: aberration, abnormality, irregularity, oddity, monster, monstrosity, malformation, mutant;
freak of nature
"the mouse was a genetically engineered freak"

informal
a person regarded as strange because of their unusual appearance or behaviour.
"her books offer us the independent girl as something of a freak"
synonyms: oddity, eccentric, eccentric person, peculiar person, strange person, unorthodox person, individualist, free spirit, maverick, misfit; crank, lunatic; queer fish, oddball, weirdo, weirdie, nutcase, nut, nutter; odd bod; wacko, screwball, kook; case
"they were dismissed as a bunch of freaks"

My reasoning is this... I've been called this... I've been called lots of things, but this one hurts to remember and for some reason memories including this word are more vivid than most. It was used to describe me and my twin sister by some particularly idiotic members of my school community.

I think the reason it hurts so much is that as an insult it's true... I could ignore other words... like whore... or even the boys who found it ironic to shout.. HEY SEXY! I took these as untrue and therefore easily dismissed. But by definition my sister and I were and still are an irregularity... we're identical twins... we're rare and we're odd. We look and sound the same and once in our school uniforms despite our differing heights you'd have to know us very well to tell the difference. We also relish each others company, we're close and a conversation with my sister is even more rewarding to me than a conversation with any other person in the world. We talk we, philosophise, we share our separate spheres of knowledge knowing that the other will almost instantly understand if not accept our point of view.

The other parts of the definition that fits us very well is our unusual appearance. We're taller than average... especially me... and we're of Polish extraction which means in our case fair hair, extremely high cheek bones, piercing blue eyes, a pronounced nose and a strong jaw line... I recently described this to a friend in the following terms. "You know when you look at a Polish woman that if you mess with her she'll break your spine."

But the reason I'm writing this isn't to bemoan the bullying of my teenage years hurtful as it was. I'd like to reclaim the definition... I particularly like this chain of synonyms in the definition... individualist, free spirit, maverick

Being individual is hard for anyone. People can fail to separate your identity from that of your family or friendship group, but for me as much as I love my sister we really struggled with developing separate and distinct identities. With a few of my traits this meant almost suppressing things about myself in order to make myself different from her.

She was markedly alternative so I tried my hardest to be as "normal" as possible...
She was the Goth... I was the one in Marks and Spencer clothes
She was alternative and Pagan... I was the mainstream Christian
She was gay... I was straight
She did a science degree... I did an arts one

However I think that as get older I discover that really I am just as individual and unique as I choose to be. I like to dress in my own style and to suit my own shape. By beliefs are wide and varied and take in many different views and traditions. I'm bisexual and also pretty uninterested in living alongside any predefined gender stereotype either. And after my Music degree I studied IT instead and now spend my work time divided between training systems and using the creative technologies to design learning packages.

I guess those who called me a freak were right... but not for the reasons they were thinking of. Prejudice and fear is the root of many scenarios that result in bullying and insults, however I've moved on so far from where I was when I was 11 that I think that in my 30th year I intend to embrace my real self and be free-spirited and maverick. It's really the only way to make a difference.